i'm so corporate

hey guys. i bought a dot com. if you're a follower, please change your links to point to hungryhammeredhome.com and stay tuned!

you can't be anal retentive if you don't have an anus

i'm revelling in the joys of simple tasks being completed. i organized my books by colour, alphabetized the dvds, downloaded new records with proper track listings and album art, repotted a plant, replaced the shower curtain (hotel style, yo!), hung some stuff and tidied the bedroom. it was quite an anal retentive weekend complete with levels, measuring tapes and pencil markings.

speaking of anuses, phil has wicked bad salmonella poisoning! crazy, huh? we eat all the same food, at the same time and he gets sick while i get bombed for five days in a row. bizarre. before his stomach started betraying him, he whipped up some of his patented philly (get it?) cheesesteaks. i made him add spinach to the mix and it turned out splendidly. who doesn't love meat, mushrooms and spinach doused in hot gravy over melting, smoky cheeses? IDIOTS, that's who. people who hate deliciousness. retards who are scared of jus running down their forearms while engaged in a hunchbacked, mouth breathing love affair with a sloppy, drippy sandwich of glory. oh god, yeah.

spitfist vs. a thousand beers

i had a wild weekend. on friday night my new band played our first show. we played at a bar i used to frequent (we're talking five nights a week here) a couple years ago and it was fun. i think. i mean, we got through a case of beer and a twenty sixer of vodka before we got onstage so it's all a little hazy. people said it was good and we partied at my place till six am so, success?

side note, farkus/little titus/dude from postal was there! i can't remember if he caught our set or not but this picture is soooo worth whatever embarrassing things i said to him. b actors are the best!

i do it to freak out the squares

i made pizza last night. it was delicious. the last time i started from scratch was, well, a little bit of a disaster. the dough didn't rise, was too crunchy and (although my old roommate was a chef) we had to eat it with forks because the toppings were too heavy. this time i bought pre-made dough from the bakery in kensington market so i wouldn't have to deal with yeast and rising and all those bread terms i don't understand.

i rolled the springy, whole wheat dough with some cornmeal because we were planning on using a pizza stone for the first time. so many rules with those things! put it in the oven cold, let it heat up sufficiently, dust it with cornmeal/flour to prevent sticking and then try to slide a sloppy, dressed pizza onto it without ripping the dough, spilling the contents or touching any part of the burning hot oven. suffice it to say, i started the pizza on a plain, old cookie sheet and once the crust had firmed up a bit, transferred it to the stone. it worked! it tasted better than takeout and we demolished the whole thing in no time. i even made the sauce from scratch and it was easier than i anticipated.

i can't wait to make it again with crazy toppings that will inevitably freak out the squares. that's like, my motto for food now. phil and i were joking about having a dinner party and providing kraft dinner with hotdogs for anyone who couldn't handle our tastes. you don't like brains and sweet breads? eat this cold, boxed pasta! you're scared to try pig's face? here's a hotdog: eat the anus! sissy...

fuckload of finger foods for friends

we had our first dinner party this weekend. sure, we don't have a dining room table or enough plates to serve everyone at once but that didn't stop us! we made a fuckload of finger foods for friends and it worked out splendidly.

we were woken up by our new internet provider. we had an "appointment" scheduled for 12-5pm. they showed up at 9am. whatever. at least i got a chance to watch 'french food at home'. laura calder is so sensual in her cooking and i generally feel like i can make everything just as well as she does... if not better.

after several attempts to connect our computers and phones to the new (fibre optic!) connection we spent the afternoon in kensington market trying to plan the menu. we wound up with a whole lot of cheese, meat, bread and basic vegetables. i organized a cheese plate, smoked salmon hor d'oeuvres and plated food as phil fried up parmesan tacos to stuff with steak and arugula, grilled some smokey chicken for bite size club sandwiches and marinated tomatoes for a goat cheesy bruschetta.

we ate, drank, listened to records and had a really fantastic time. for me, the highlight was laura's recipe for french slab (think a silkier version of flourless chocolate cake). i whipped up some vanilla creme and topped it with blackberries. i ate it in, like, two bites. shit was delicious... especially with a plethora of cheap merlot, a thousand beers, hazily rolled joints and dirtbag friends to share it all with.

time tested techniques

the bf and i made dumplings for the first time this week. we bought the wrappers in chinatown awhile ago but couldn't agree on fillings. we settled on some ground pork (only .83 cents a pound, by the way) and ramped it up with traditional chinese spices. neither of us could figure out how to form the wraps into cute little dim sum-y packages so phil used his ravioli techniques and i just sort of rolled them around until parts stuck to other parts. they were really delicious, if a little ugly, and i got a chance to witness phil's masterful spoon-over-spoon filling forming tactics. he's like an encyclopedia of time-tested techniques and he always knows the reasons behind them. i may have to remind him who people are over and over but he'll never forget anything anthony bourdain has told him. ever.

antique barns and vintage appetizers

we ventured out of the city to visit phil's parents this easter weekend. they surprised us with a flat screen television (we have been watching an old 13" tv/vcr combo) and some weird products from the states. the thing i was most excited about, however, was all the antique markets surrounding peterborough. i found a lot of total scores (read: vintage pyrex, wood crates, mason jars, juice glasses, buffy figures (?), cookie cutters, rusted out ricers and hand mixers) in a barn with an enormous novelty rocking chair out front. i ate my weight in deviled eggs and roasted lamb. we bar-hopped small town pubs, played 90s simpsons pinball and watched on-demand satellite tv (just like the celebrities!).

we're getting ever closer to finishing our apartment. the wood crates went in the kitchen in lieu of drawers, we hung our letterpress tray and metal alphabet in the bathroom and the glass jars we found in phil's parents' cold cellar have invaded our shelves forming a unified, reflective front. the hilarious part? i haven't unpacked all my clothes, yet, i've arranged and rearranged my mason jar collection about thirty times and can't stop searching craigslist for the perfect counter stools. speaking of which, anyone know a way to get around "US only" shipping?