April 26, 2010

you can't be anal retentive if you don't have an anus

i'm revelling in the joys of simple tasks being completed. i organized my books by colour, alphabetized the dvds, downloaded new records with proper track listings and album art, repotted a plant, replaced the shower curtain (hotel style, yo!), hung some stuff and tidied the bedroom. it was quite an anal retentive weekend complete with levels, measuring tapes and pencil markings.

speaking of anuses, phil has wicked bad salmonella poisoning! crazy, huh? we eat all the same food, at the same time and he gets sick while i get bombed for five days in a row. bizarre. before his stomach started betraying him, he whipped up some of his patented philly (get it?) cheesesteaks. i made him add spinach to the mix and it turned out splendidly. who doesn't love meat, mushrooms and spinach doused in hot gravy over melting, smoky cheeses? IDIOTS, that's who. people who hate deliciousness. retards who are scared of jus running down their forearms while engaged in a hunchbacked, mouth breathing love affair with a sloppy, drippy sandwich of glory. oh god, yeah.

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