November 28, 2009

a hundred posts later.

i rolled alone today because phil went to his parents' for american thanksgiving. i took the opportunity to buy him some christmas presents, take some pictures and visit the one of a kind show. shopping for others has become my favourite part of this quickly approaching/highly aggravating holiday season. i love the feeling of finding the perfect gift. i almost cried at the show because i was so excited. oh man, some of the shit there is extraordinary, over-priced in places, but really exceptional.

i was surprised at the amount of food vendors. i got to sample candied atlantic salmon, chocolate covered everything, coconut cashews, lobster mousse, country peach vinegar (wow), tons of smoked fish, locally grown herbal teas and endless bins of flavoured soybeans, nuts and dipping sauces.

i'm trying to think of a better way to spend a day but how can you beat wake and bake, groceries in kensington, breakfast with the paper at tequila bookworm, quick stop at the camera store, bike ride along the lake, one of a kind shopping followed by beers, food and photo editing? YOU CAN'T... but you should feel inspired to try.

November 27, 2009

oh, granny... you're so stylish.

i finally got my boots in the mail! i am so fucking pumped. go, online vintage shopping! best 29 bucks i've spent in a long time.

November 26, 2009

how can i help you today, dickface?

you know that feeling when you've helped someone? i mean, really informed them and provided excellent service and got them the product they didn't know they wanted but now cannot live without? it's like a first kiss or a great meal or a satisfying shit... it disappears as soon as some retard comes along and stares at your tits for twenty minutes while asking pointless questions in an attempt to start a conversation with a hottie they wouldn't have a fucking chance with in real life.

this is the bain of customer service. the idiots out number the friendlies. the perverts, assholes and sexists will continually ruin my (and maybe your) days at work but thank christ for the simpletons: the polite and eager-to-learn custies hold a place in my heart.

i would like to thank you, mr/s. considerate and smiling, for making an otherwise shit job a little more tolerable. if i could high five your parents, i would.

November 24, 2009

i'll be broke in a month.

i saw a mouse launch out of my cat's mouth last night. kim and i were screaming in our rubber boots and frantically chasing a tiny rodent around the living room until we lost it somewhere in behind our 500 vhs movies. i hope it doesn't chew through the kevin smith collection.

in other news, i found some fantastic gifts (for myself and others) online in the last week. i can't wait to start receiving packages in the mail. i know i'm a little late to the whole online shopping world but, fuck, i am having an outstanding time perusing vintage stores while at work. it really helps to pass the day.

i met up with a dude yesterday to buy a canon photura (20 bucks!) from craigslist. i'm pretty stoked to have an old 35mm camera that actually works and damn does it look cool. it's all pop can shaped and glorious. i'll keep everyone abreast of my delicious finds as they arrive at my door. damn that's convenient: this paypal business could be trouble.

November 19, 2009

the taste of blood, the taste of wine.

i went to active surplus yesterday and bought a glue gun that i'm pretty stoked about. we put it to good use last night when assembling our ornaments for the buffyfest holiday swap! how fucking nerdy is that, huh? i'm STOKED.

on the food front, i'm the best. i made some goat cheese and chocolate truffles one night (holyshitholyshitholyshit) and added some fresh beets and more eggs to my jar of brine the next. everything is purple and pickled and i couldn't be happier about it.

i'm in this weird part of my life where i'm working less but making more money than i ever have. i keep buying stuff online (read: vintage jars and granny boots) and worrying i'll run out of cash but it just doesn't happen. perhaps all the little transitions from party girl to dinner party lady have eased the money tensions. for me it literally pays to be responsible. weird.

November 16, 2009

hey chuck, feminism isn't the right word.

during our weekly friday-night-spitfist-jam-session-booze-fest some guys from work showed up at the space. we were a couple songs and a couple more tall cans in when they shyly shuffled through the door. the room was smaller than they had imagined so five of them were wedged up between amps and unused floor toms. i watched their expressions as they watched our sludgy, fart-filled set. this group of men "raised by women" gulped warm beer as we plowed through songs about terry fox being lazy, our vaginas being stretched by massive dicks and mouths being sliced apart by cpt. crunch (another dick).

stunned isn't the right word, but it's the only one that fits. it might have been my imagination. it could be that most girls make goat cheese & chocolate truffles and giggle over bacon before chanting "my dick is a clit" at 140 bpm... i wouldn't know.

i think the work-bros had a good time. i'm pretty sure it was a little more raucous than expected. i'm totally positive having hidden hard-ons in the room got our creative juices flowing (see what i did there?) and i'm alright with that. i mean, back in the days of playing live that was always my goal: to make people want to fuck me... and hey, if a bunch of babes hoarking, belching, screaming, gyrating and making fun of cripples is what does it for you: you're fucked. just like us. hello to you.

November 12, 2009

what the fuck is a tumblr?

it's pretty rare that i will link to anything i didn't personally create (actually, i can't really see the point of having a blog when it only consists of cross posted links and embedded videos the 'writer' had nothing to with) but i couldn't resist opening your eyes to this video. it is such a relief to find a current band that still writes songs! with structure! natural voices! skilled musicianship! artistry! this album is great and reminiscent of all my favourite late eighties euro dream pop. go fuzzy feelings and imperfect recordings!

November 10, 2009

i just found a blog called "food in jars" and well, it's self explanatory but AWESOME. i wanna make my own butter and preserve pickled carrots and banana ketchup and oh my god i'm so excited.

November 09, 2009

it's the same old song and bad dancing.

once a week, while on route to collect a cover charge at a local dance party, i pass by a group of thirty something women in a knitting collective. they're always drinking tea and gossiping and building elaborate scarves for their friends or etsy pages and i can't help but wonder if i belong there instead. i mean, why surround myself with children who, in the 90s, were learning their abc's while i was learning the fine art of fingerbanging in basements? for one day a week i sit, alone, in a room full of pretty young boys who struggle with the concept of a line and overtly sexual young girls who struggle with ill-fitting clothes inappropriate for their body type.

i think this foray into mainstream youth culture forces me to "act my age" the other six days of the week. i've found myself perusing diy renovation blogs at work in place of punknews sites. i've begun to slowly build up a life collection: an assembly of items i'll never have to buy again. (oh, how proud ed-norton-pre-tyler-durden would be.) i am constantly looking ahead to the day phil and i have our own apartment and i can build shelves, bake cookies and have (hopefully) amassed an analog graveyard/vintage closet so impressive and over-taking that i will be forced to open my own little shop.

in the interim (five more months!) i will endure the shiny clothing, the black outs and the dance floor handjobs because, well, adult life doesn't come cheap and this pseudo-babysitting gig has got me makin' it rain... on these stores.

November 02, 2009

the dead shall walk the earth... and eat pastries.

i fuckin love halloween. while this year was a slight disappointment on the raging front (read: waaaay over capacity party full of non-costumes) we ended up at a friend's house that was completely chill and she had made motherfucking dirt and worms! so, well, i was stoked.

earlier this week, kim and i painted up some mini pumpkins. you probably won't understand the images unless you're a buffy fanatic... but they're below... and cute!

on sunday (after washing my hair for the first time in years in an attempt to undo the rat's nest i teased up for my lydia deetz costume) phil and i went to honest ed's. i love junk and weirdos so i was pretty much in heaven. when i got home i cut open our painted pumpkins to make mini pies! after boiling them to remove the skins i was a little short for the recipe so i topped up the pureed pumpkin with fresh sweet potato. tons of sugar and some baking later... delicious yam & pumpkin tarts! i tried to whip some cream by hand but gave up after ten minutes and used the magic bullet. three seconds to vanilla infused whipped cream, buddy. i honestly ate six of them.

after all the sweetness last night, i felt i needed a big, greasy burger today. i stopped by avenue open kitchen and ordered a banquet burger with fries and gravy. it was life changing, artery clogging and goddamn perfect. i mean, hey, you don't go to a greasy spoon and get a fucking salad, right?