fever dreams

if you read the things i write on the internet or know me in real life, you'll know i smoke a lot of weed. i remember laughing so hard watching bored to death when zack galifianakis tells kevin bacon, "i don't know, i never dream. i smoke pot right before i go to bed and it shuts down the dream side of my brain." i've been saying that for years and nobody believed me! i've had a pretty bad sinus infection for a couple days that morphed into a wild sweatfest so i cut back on the weed and had some crazy fever dreams.

on tuesday i woke up, called in sick to work and went back to sleep. in my mind though i got dressed, rode to work, got a coffee, got changed and walked down into the shop and starting folding shirts. my co-worker turned to me and said, "uh, you don't have anything on." i looked down; i was only in my underwear. i ran out the door to get to my other job... selling merch for every time i die. they had, like, 40 albums though and i couldn't keep them straight so after getting screamed at, i was fired. lucky break for me because somehow my next gig was a cast member on parks and recreation. i tried to get andy to like me instead of april (we were somewhere around late season 2) but c'mon... i can't even compete with aubrey plaza in my own goddamn dream.