October 19, 2009

i'll eat your glands with polenta and pine nuts.

saturday afternoon phil and i went to dufferin mall. i bought new tights (eight bucks!) with the intention of making them last. we got home, got dressed and went out to dinner. they caught on a snag the moment i sat down at the restaurant and exploded from ankle to crotch. FUCK.

i can't manage to keep pantyhose intact for longer than a night. i remember my mom washing hers and hanging them to dry over the shower curtain rod. i always assumed that was normal but, now, it seems completely fucking impossible. i've bought cheap, expensive, thick, thin, patterned, flat... i even bought thigh high socks in an effort to not shred them apart. no luck. within an hour of wriggling into them i'm either reaching for the clear nail polish or leaving my tights in shambles, crumpled in the washroom garbage at the bar.

are you a train wreck too? is it just my lifestyle? either way, don't wear expensive hose to the black hoof. the food is mind altering (read: fatty, smoky, creamy, decadent) but the booths are unfinished. you've been warned.


gluten-free nonna said...

Hue tights. They are currently buy one get one half off at The Bay.

Jacalicious said...

i swear by both DIM and DKNY. Neither are cheap, really, but you can often get them at Winners if you aren't choosy about colour or whatever. Especially DIM fishnets. I've caught those in zippers and still had them be hole-less

Keith said...

Dear god woman , get yourself to zingerman's in ann arbor,mi.

you're too close.

you'll thank me.